4 Reasons We Would Destroy Our Home

"Why would someone destroy their own home?" was the last question we left off with. 

I'd like to discuss destroying our home in three different segments: Destroying Planet Earth as a whole, destroying a part of Earth (nation vs. nation), and destroying our individual homes.

By destroying any part of the three homes listed above, we are giving up on the priority of protecting each other and all of the other living things on this planet. 

So why do we lose focus on this priority? In order to answer that question, let's explore the possible reasons why someone would destroy these different levels of home:

Is it because...

- They think it hurt them and they are trying to make others feel the pain they feel (or empathize with their pain)? (Think about vengeance as an emotional reaction to pain). 

- To end future pain. (Think about Ender's Game).

- Because they no longer feel connected to it?

- Or maybe because they think the afterlife will provide something better for them?

Negative Empathy and Vengeance

When someone has perceived that they have received pain from another person, sometimes they want to pay it back in kind with outward displays of aggression. This aggression is used to try to get the other person to understand emotionally the pain they received, and to return that pain for a perceived sense of justice.

We normally call this action of reciprocating displays of pain as: vengeance, or how I like to think about it - negative empathy.

However, this type of negative empathy only creates more pain. It is a destructive behavior, and many times, it is the reason that someone threatens the destruction of a homeland. But it does not have to follow-through. It can be prevented.

You can prevent vengeance, this negative reaction to perceived pain, by doing the following:

Role Modeling - Show people that there is a better way to handle their pain and that retaliation only brings more pain. Show them how to handle pain through your actions, by not retaliating. Humans are great imitators. Give them something good and constructive, not destructive, to imitate.

More education about emotions - As a species, we need to teach each other about how to properly handle emotions. Part of the way we teach is by role modeling, as stated above, however another way of teaching is just talking about it. 

Talking about emotions allows an open conversation to understanding. People do not always understand the emotional reactions of others, however when we talk about them and people can empathize by seeing the situation from their point of view, and thereby realize that a misunderstanding took place - it is then that vengeance can be avoided and we can prevent the destruction of a home.

Ender's Game and Pain Avoidance

Relating to vengeance is our second reason why someone would destroy a home: to end future pain. 

A lot of existence is centered around avoiding pain and gaining pleasure. And in the movie (and book), Ender's Game, one of the main messages seems to be that the purpose of destroying someone else's world was to avoid future pain.

When Ender kept kicking his classmate after he had already fallen and become bloody, he switched from self-defense to a rationalization that in order to end future pain, he would need to make sure that he destroyed his adversary the first time. Which is eventually the approach Ender and Colonel Graff take later by destroying an entire home planet. They wanted to prevent any future attacks. 

However, there is a problem with this response: People hold grudges.

People remember what was done to their people, and if they do not forgive the wrongs that were done to them, they will seek retaliation once they are able to - just like Earth did against the alien race in Ender's Game. They saw the destruction that the alien race was capable of, and sought a more powerful retaliation to prevent future attacks. 

So, is there a better response?

Would forgiveness have been seen as weakness? Was the fear of a future attack too strong that they felt they had to retaliate rather than forgive? Should they have delayed an attack in order to study the alien race first instead of interpret their actions as hostile?

I'm curious about your thoughts on this, because I'm not too sure of the answer. Leave a comment below and let's create a discussion about the different possible responses to preventing the destruction of someone else's home. You can also tweet your thoughts to @RMKBrainFeed, and use the hashtag #Konnection.

Since this post is getting fairly lengthy, I'm going to cut it here, and we'll pick up with the other two reasons why someone would destroy their home in my next post.

Thanks for Konnecting with me!

- RMK